Shin's Blog

Two months

This afternoon, I was sorting through some issues regarding my dorm placement at my university, and stumbled on an email related to this topic I sent in early June.

The thing is, I'd been mentally shelving this email as something that occured 2, 3 weeks ago all this time. So the amount of time that had passed hit me like the smell from a dirty public bathroom.

It's not like I've been living a Groundhog Day life for the past 2 months. Off the top of my head, here are some meaningful things I've done in this time:

I have memories, but not nearly enough to fill 2 months. It's like a raisin cake, with only two or three rice-grain-sized raisins in the whole thing. I literally jolted when I realized that email was written in June, and it was almost August now.

I've had this experience with multiple days, even a week. I know that time goes by faster as you age. I just didn't think I'd be at the multiple-months mark so soon. I thought I'd get there in my 30s or something.

If two months fly by now, how fast are they going to go in a few years? In a decade? Good gosh, imagine if I had children, and thought they were still in elementary school, only to suddenly realize they're in college and I'll never meet them on a regular basis again for the rest of our lives?

Actually, it's probably equally bad that I'm letting time slip by this much right now. I'm in the springtime of my youth. From what I've heard, this is pretty much the most energy, brain power, and free time I'll ever have. And the last one's fading away alreadyβ€”I've video called with my best friend for multiple hours every Sunday for the past 3 years, but we only do so once every few weeks now. Who knows if it'll even be once every few months once we both start college?

Time is so precious right now. Yet, two months dissapeared, just like that.

The funny thing is, I'm not going to do anything about it. I'm getting my work done, I'm moving on with life, that's enough. There's countless other things I need to worry about. For goodness' sakes, who has the time to worry about something as piddling as being aware of time passing, when I need to keep my GPA above 3.5 to maintain my scholarships, which I can't afford college without?

For now, I'm thinking of this as a normal part becoming an adult; I've burnt up the time buffer I started life with (thinking back, I should've managed that extremely limited resource better), and from now on, I'm going to get gradually busier, and more little things will pop up which I feel uncomfortable about, but not enough so to fix.

I wonder if I'll get startled again, reading this post in another 2 months...