盯雞堡宮

When you want to write, but it doesn't come out right

I spent the entirety of today morning taking the first class of my driver's ed program. It was the first time I'd ever been in the driver's seat of a car, I learned a lot, had a ton of fun, and once I returned home from the driving school, I was fully prepared to sit down and spent a very pleasant while jotting down all the thoughts I'd had about this experience on this blog.

But after writing for a bit, I looked at what I had in the editor and just thought...there's nothing interesting here. I'd taken an interesting, potentially meaningful experience and turned it into a jumble of words, the point of which I wasn't even sure of. And the weirdest thing was, I started to get confused about why I considered this a worthwhile experience to share with anyone in the first place! I genuinely don't think puttering around the training centre for 4 hours this morning was cool anymore, and I honestly don't understand why.

I suspect I was too focused on just getting a post out, as opposed to really reflecting. I had good vibes of some sort to spread around when I began writing, but I didn't know how to specifically put those good vibes into words. Lacking anything specific to share, or any particularly strong feelings to convey, I ended up producing some kind of report on my driving class instead. And in the process, I focused so much on jotting down the boring parts of that experience, I forgot the actually fun ones. And now, those wisps of something that could've been refined into meaningful thoughts with a bit of intensive thinking are forever gone, like a burp in the wind...

I'm pretty bummed. I'll still try to come up with something about today morning, but I suspect it won't be too effective. I'm not a very reflective person by nature, so any kind of inspiration that wells up in me dissapears fast. But I'll take good care to avoid the same thing happening in the future; I don't know how, but I will. Focus on verbalizing just one thought and stating it in one sentence in the post title before writing anything, maybe.

For today, though, if I don't manage to share something fun with someone else it'll leave a sour taste in my mouth. So here's some absolutely smashing songs I've been listening to lately:

That's all I have to say. Have an excellent day!